A Good Cry.

Wow.  When you haven’t cried in a while and something sets you off, it’s kind of hard to stop.

That was pretty much my night last night.  The reason I was crying was because I was relieved.  But I was also very angry.

I was having discomfort in my chest.  It started when I woke up in the morning but subsided pretty quickly.  Then later in the day, it came back but was pretty bothersome.  It was high in my chest, beginning toward my shoulder but then more toward the center of my chest, by my sternum.  It hurt more when I moved which lead me to believe it was muscular or something like that.  However I couldn’t help but wonder if it was something more serious.  Like heart related.  The only history I have of any heart related issues is high blood pressure.  It’s only been borderline high, not excessively high, and I’ve been on medication for a number of years.  I’ve also had normal EKGs for years.  However I have never had a full heart “check up” before.  I’ve put on some weight over the years and am not exactly in the best physical shape ever.  Most importantly, I’ve had diabetes for going on 31 years.  That is a long time of high and low blood sugars.  This is what scares me the most.  And that is why I was angry.

It was because I have diabetes that lead me to going to the urgent care near me and getting checked out.  I wanted to be safe than sorry and I think Joe felt the same.  (He is the one who persuaded me to go) But had I not been a diabetic, I would’ve brushed the discomfort off and waited to see how I felt in the morning.  Last night I hated diabetes for what it can do to your body.  I hated it for making me worry more than the next person.  I hated it for reminding me what my father went through.  I hated its very existence.

Thankfully the EKG came back normal.  The doctor seemed to think it was something called Costochondritis, which if you’ve never heard of it like me, it is inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join with the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone or sternum.  Yup some more inflammation.  He prescribed anti-inflammatory medication and did recommend I see a cardiologist at some point.  I will discuss this when I see my endo next week.

I don’t get out of sorts about diabetes often.  But last night I did.  And it felt so good to cry it out.

19 thoughts on “A Good Cry.

  1. Really glad you’re feeling better. I have one of these crys every so often and it feels so much better after. You’re a strong woman knowing when to ask for help! Keep plugging on 🙂

  2. i’m glad you went to the urgent care clinic. when it comes to pain in the chest, it is never something to put off till later. 18mths ago i had triple bypass surgery, after ignoring the pain in my chest, shortness of breath and pain in my jaw that i had been suffering with on and off for about 7 mths. (i thought it was indigestion or heart burn!). diabetes is a big pain in the a** sometimes, but if nothing else it gets us (or some of us!) to the doctors right away! feel better soon (((hugs)))

  3. It kills me that you have to think about things like this on a daily basis. 😦 I am just so glad everything was okay!!! And glad that you don’t mess around.

  4. A “good” cry can be so healing, and although I’m sorry you were upset enough to have one, I do hope it has helped you feel much much better. And maybe it’s GOOD that diabetes makes us get small things checked out that we might otherwise ignore. Because if just once, we catch something quickly, it could make a huge difference. (But yeah, I still hate how diabetes seeps into everything we do).

  5. I hate when D makes me cry. I know it’s normal but like you, I hate that it’s normal. I’m glad you went to get it checked out. If you want a great cardiologist I have one over at LIJ. He is so intelligent but so caring and kind. (((HUGS))) girl! Let’s go do Press (we can always have salad)

  6. I have indeed experienced costochondritis. And HUGS and much love to you my friend. Sometimes we need to cry “it” out when it comes to living with diabetes. I had a bit of a breakdown in my Endo’s office yesterday and the tears wouldn’t stop.

  7. I can totally relate to how you must have been feeling. A few years ago I was sitting at my desk at work and feeling like my BG was getting low…like REALLY low. But I must’ve tested 5 or 6 times and was at a comfortable 110/120 range. Then my right arm went numb and my eyesight got blurry I called my endo, and for the first time in my life I uttered the words “I’m REALLY scared.” I was convinced it had something to do with diabetes.

    He told me I should get to the ER immediately. My boss (also T1, btw) was in a meeting so after the sensation subsided I left a note on his desk and drove to the hospital, just down the street from the office (not the smartest idea, I know). They did all sorts of tests and everything was normal. They concluded I must’ve had a “Transient Ischemic Attack” which they described as a mini-stroke. No one knew for sure but I was referred to a bunch off neurologists who strapped electrodes to my head, did all sorts of tests, and found nothing wrong.

    I still don’t know what it was, what caused it, or if it will happen again. It scares me just thinking about it. But dammit, I’m sure the diabetes was part of the reason.

  8. Sorry, as I typed the above comment I completely lost sight of why I was replying. I’m glad this isn’t too serious and I hope the inflammation clears up…and that you end up with an understanding of what happened and why. This really stinks, and you’re right, sometimes a good cry can really clear your head. It’s been a LONG time since I cried.

    • Oh my goodness. How frightening and frustrating this must have been. Glad you did what you needed to do to take care of yourself. And glad you’re ok.

      Sometimes I really hate diabetes.

  9. Glad you went and that it checked out ok. Hate that at 34 years of age, Joe will have had it for 31 years…don’t know why this post took me there, but it did. Hate it.

    Hope you feel beter soon. Did the doctor say that PWDs are more prone to this inflammatory condition? I would think so b/c even connective tissue isn’t safe from sugar fluctuations. xo

  10. Ugh!

    I am sorry you had to go through that scare and I’m glad that it you got it checked out. I’ve never heard of costochondritis but it sounds like others have. I’m with Reyna, is it a “more common with diabetes” thing?

  11. Pingback: Year in Review. A Tad Late. | The Girl with the Portable Pancreas

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