Monthly Archives: February 2011

No Words.

Back in 1998, I not only met my husband, I made many new friends as well. My husband had (and still has) a very large circle of friends that have been part of his life for a long time. (I actually always envied that since life took a lot of the friends I had growing up on separate paths). One of those friends I met was Derek. To Joe, he is one of those friends who is more like family. For me, knowing him a shorter time, he means a lot to me too. And this past Saturday, February 19th, instead of wishing Derek a happy birthday, Joe got a phone call that he had passed away.

Derek was struck by a car in December of 2000 and was seriously injured, sustaining severe head trauma and becoming a quadriplegic. It took him quite some time and a lot of hard work to recover as much as he could, but he came such a long way over the past 10 years. After being in the hospital for I don’t even remember how long after the accident, he spent a few years in a rehabilitation center in Upstate NY. Then he moved to Albany to be closer to family. Although he had 24 hour home care, he lived in his own place. He didn’t let his disabilities stop him from doing what he could. Since he lived far enough away, we didn’t get to see him as often as we would have liked. But we did go to see him when we could and Joe talked to him all the time. Every time we went to visit him, part of our visit would be spent with him at the gym. I will always remember feeling ashamed of myself for not exercising regularly for no good reason at all when Derek went to the gym religiously to work out his upper body. And he was in a wheelchair! He loved the sun & so many times when Joe would call him up during the warm weather, would get the answering machine because he was out soaking in the sun. Despite what he had been through, he never lost his sense of humor. He was always joking with us and reminiscing with Joe about old times. He was an inspiration to everyone that knew him.  And this was totally unexpected. Joe had just spoken to him the night before. His life was lost overnight with what seemed like no sign that anything was even wrong.

I came across a quote a few days ago that is so perfect for a time like this. “For some moments in life there are no words” David Seltzer.
This truly is a moment that no words can describe. We’re still in shock and it doesn’t feel real. My heart aches even more for his family who lost a brother and a son and for my husband who lost one of his best friends. And Derek is going to be missed terribly by so many people.

RIP Derek K.
2/19/69 – 2/19/11

Some Friday Fun.

In light of all the seriousness that has been spreading around the DOC this past week or so, I opted for something fun to post.  Thanks Allison (again) for the idea 🙂

one) what was your favorite sitcom growing up?  I’m sure there were more but the ones that stick out in my mind are Growing Pains, Cheers, The Cosby Show, Different Strokes, Family Ties, Golden Girls, Mr. Belvedere and Punky Brewster.  And please don’t judge!

two) what song always makes you happy when you hear it?  He Ya by Outkast.  I wouldn’t say “happy” exactly but for some reason, this song always lifts my mood and gets me in the dancing mood. 

three) do you still have your wisdom teeth?  Nope.  I had them all removed quite some time ago; probably around 9 years ago or longer.  And by all I mean 6.  Yes I know this sounds freak-ish but I had 6 wisdom teeth and learned that this is called supernumerary wisdom teeth.

four) what is your go to way to relax?  Usually it’s just getting in pj’s or comfy clothes and just vegging out on the couch.  But I can’t dismiss the heavenly massage that I get now and then.

five) do you play any instruments? The only instrument I ever learned to play was the recorder in like 3rd grade.  So sadly I’m going to go with no, I don’t play any instruments.

six) nude beaches, yes or no?  I am not comfortable enough with my own body to strut around nude anywhere outside of my own home.  I would also find it very distracting to be among other nude people, especially strangers.  Can you guess what my answer is?

seven) do you chew your pens/pencils?  I do not. 

eight) can you change the oil in your car?  Windshield wiper fluid, yes.  Oil, no.

nine) can you curl your tounge?  Only a little.

ten) can you knit or crochet? Another nope.

So this little post here makes it seem like I have no talent or the ability to do much of anything.  But I can, I swear 😉