Tomorrow is an anniversary that I dread every year. A date that I wish the calendar could skip. A date that does not get any easier with time that has passed. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows the feeling.
On July 30, 2003 I lost my father. I lost the man who raised me so well. I lost the person who was always so supportive while I was growing up. I lost one of the closest people to me. I lost one of the parents that I love so much. I may not cry missing him as often as I did eight years ago but don’t be fooled that the hurt has gone away. His dying left a hole in my life that can never be filled. I hate each year that passes without him, even more than the one before. That means more and more time since I last saw him. Since I last spoke to him. Since I last got to hug him or tell him I love him. I don’t wish that he was still here suffering the way he did. I wish I could turn back time to when he was here and mainly healthy. When he was able to see better. Walk better. Feel better. Those are the times that I truly miss. And I loathe you diabetes for taking that away from him. Taking him away from us.
So much has changed since that day but one thing remains the same – the deepness of sorrow I feel without him.
Here is my sister and I with him when we were around 8 and flowergirls in my cousin’s wedding.
Here is my sister and I again with him at another cousin’s wedding around 1993 (I think).
And here he is holding my cousin’s baby in 2000.
The Girl with the Portable Pancreas 
(((HUGS)))
Stacey- my thoughts will be with you today! Your dad sounds like he was a pretty awesome person.
Just know I will be thinking of you and sending love tomorrow.
Losing a loved one is traumatic for most people, and I cannot imagine what losing a parent is like. I take solace in the fact that there might be an afterlife and reunions and all that (even non-religious types like me are spiritual enough to believe in this concept), but when I think about loved ones I have lost, I find the happy memories that still put a smile on my face to be the best form of eternal life!
Thinking of you. (((Hugs))).
When someone loses a loved one, most people reply by saying, “don’t be sad, they are in a better place”. But, fact is, you lost someone you love. Be sad. Cry. Get it out. And then enjoy all of the wonderful memories. xoxoxo
Hi Stacey,
I know how you feel, My Dad`s anniversary is Monday Aug 1st (2007), It never gets any easier, But the Happy memories do help…
Sending love and light. I know this day will never get easier, but take the time to remember how special and celebrate everything he did give you.
I’m sorry Stacey. Thank you for sharing the pictures of him and you and your sister. It’s nice to get to know him a little better. I know he means a great deal to you.